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I've never encountered so much fighting before, not till the Vietnamese tournament which ended today. We had to fight for our right to go through the qualifying rounds. We argued our way through to the quarters, repeating our stands over and over again to the organisers. I felt a little guilty over making the other team come all the way to school for nothing but I knew we were right. Our quarter finals match was filled with hostility. Playing against the team that caused a lot of trouble the previous week, we had our fair share of trouble with them too. They were looking for opportunities to fight and I think they were a disgrace to Singaporeans. I didn't want to lose to them but bad luck and horrible defending caused us to lose.

Nevertheless, I'm still pleased with what we gave on the pitch for the 2 weeks. I have to apologise to Qinyao, sorry for not letting you play as much as you would have liked. I'll playyou more often next time and you're going to score!

I think I am quite insensitive. I know I've hurt some people. Sometimes, it's just that I am misunderstood, sometimes, I didn't think before I speak. I wished I could go back in time and remedy my errors. I really don't want to hurt anyone.

Near death

I just had a terrifying experience, something which made me shudder even as I recall it. I was in Ho Teck's car and while discussing about something not quite decent and laughing about it, the car started swerving from left to right. We all thought Ho Teck was playing as he always does. A few violent swerves later, we knew it wasn't a joke anymore. Drifting from one lane to the other, narrowly missing other cars, the car was out of control. I didn't know how to react, my mind was in a blank. I braced myelf for the worst, the feeling was weird. A sort of emptiness inside me. What will happen to me? My fate is no longer in my own hands. Live or die, it's up to fate. Fortunately, it's not my time yet. There are still plans for me, things I've yet to accomplish. I'm not going to go away, not now. The car hit the barricade on the road shoulder twice, the impact bringing the car to a halt. None of us suffered any injuries, although I suffered a minor knock to my head. We are truly blessed. Someday, I'm going to the temple to offer my thanks. For I know that my survival was decided not by me, but by divine powers.

Bookworm

I'm really into reading books now. Ever since I picked up a Michael Crichton novel, The Lost World, at a second hand bookshop, I have been intrigued by his books and borrowed a fw more books by him. I watched the Lost World on film before but wasn't impressed by it. The book, however, was very interesting. I think it is because the book discusses about scientific theories in depth and how it relates to the storyline, something which the movies have no time for. It gets even more interesting when the things that are discussed are the things that I am currently learning. Things like evolution and complexity theory ( I did an essay on that in Freshman Seminar), DNA replication, Quantum Mechanics (I was exposed to it in Einstein and Quantum Weirdness) and so on. The books make science so much more interesting than the lecturers in school did. The explanation is so much more clearer. For example, in the book Timeline, Crichton explained the wave-particle duality nature much better than the lo and behold lecturer did. I was able to get it after reading it through once. Sometimes, I feel that reading books is more entertaining than watching movies. You have to use a lot of your imagination to visualise the story being told to you. And a good book can make you forget about the time and just keep on flipping the pages. Which is exactly what I have been doing these days, travelling to the imaginary world of science fiction.

Most hated

I played soccer on Sunday morning at Brighthill with the KACC guys. It is a court open to public so there are many other teams playing as well. The rest of the KACC guys had gotten into a bit of trouble with a certain middle-aged team the week before. I wasn't involved because I was in Johor that day. Therefore, when we played the same team this week, the other team played aggressively and there was a lot of pushing and shoving. However, it seems that they had a new target this week. I was the new target, replacing Kok Wai the previous week. They accused me of being rough and said that I was pushing with my arms. I don't deny that I was doing some pushing but I don't think I was rough. The things that I did was only in response to the rough play that they dished out on me. I was easily the most hated player on the court. I wasn't used to it although I can recall instances when people cannot take my style of play and exacted revenge on me. I had been punched and kicked before by opposing players but never once had i retaliated. Maybe it was because I was too scared to do so. But mainly because I am only interested in playing soccer, not fighting. I don't have any respect for players that resort to violence. If they can't take the physical nature of the game, they should switch sports. I am not going to change the way I play. I don't believe that I am dirty. If they are going to hate me, then let them do so.

2008

I haven't blogged in a while, couldn't find anything to blog about. I could have blogged about my feelings and my thoughts but that's reserved for the diary. The start of the new year came and passed amidst a breathtaking display of fireworks and a new beginning is heralded. Actually, I don't feel much difference between 31 Dec 2007 and 1 Jan 2008. It's just a change in date for me. I don't make new year resolutions, I make resolutions as and when the occasion calls for it. I just hope 2008 will be a peaceful year for everyone. There are going to be ups and downs throughout the course of the year, it is inevitable. That is life.

I recall being made to confess the happiest and saddest moments in my life during my trip to the Philippines. It is the first time in my life that someone asked me these questions and I felt awkward and slightly embarassed. It made me think back of all the things that had happened in my life and select the ones that affected me the most. Honestly, there hasn't been too many unhappy episodes in my life and I am pretty fortunate in that aspect. I felt quite good after sharing my experiences and I thought it was a good way to do some self-reflection as well as to know someone else. I remember the facilitator telling us to draw strength and inspiration from these episodes in our lives. As a new year starts, perhaps it is good to take some time to reflect upon the ups and downs in our lives.

Remember both the happy and sad times when you're feeling down, let the happy times bring a smile to you and let the sad times serve as a source of strength. You've overcome the sad moments before and recovered and you can definitely do it again.