Field woes

I know I have not been blogging for a while but I'll need to upload my pictures first before I blog on my orientation camp experience. Meanwhile, I'll just talk about my favourite topic, football. I have been playing 11-a side field soccer on Sundays with my friend's cousin's team. We have been taking part in a league recently and it hasn't been smooth sailing. So far, we have been losing our matches and most of the teams are superior in fitness and technique. Most of the time, we are being pinned back in our own half and it's very demoralising to play defensive football most of the game. There is a big gap between defence and attack and our midfield cannot string passes together. I am playing as a midfielder in the team and I get frustrated for most of the game, mostly because for my inability to control the game. I find it difficult to adjust to playing on the field because a different set of skills are needed. There is a larger emphasis on physical attributes rather than technical ones. I also find myself lacking aggression on the pitch nowadays. I used to be a lot more aggressive when I was younger and maybe age has mellowed me down. Or maybe it is just because I'm getting so used to defeat that I've stopped trying to change the result. It's definitely not something I want to see in myself and so I've begun playing more aggressively as the games go by. However, I am not a dirty player and I will never be a dirty player so I do not foul anyone on purpose even though I have been advised to do so. There are so many areas I need to improve on and goalscoring is one of them even though I am the highest scoring midfielder. I do not know why I can't find the same composure I have in street soccer and I do get nervous in front of goal. I think it comes down to lack of playing time on the field. I hope I do get better as time goes by and even though it's only an amateur league, I will still want to do well. After all, it's not just a sport, it's a religion.