What if.....

I had a basketball session with my platoon mates today at Fengshan CC. The court had a shelter which was great because it rained. If only all street soccer courts had shelters. In between our games, we talked amongst ourselves. As we talked, we pondered on a question. What if Encik were to go for election? Our balls shrinked as the word Encik is mentioned. When our balls went back to normal size, we began to discuss the possibilities and had a good laugh about it.

When i got back home, this idea popped out again. I thought hard about it and the following are my ideas of what he will do and what will happen

1. He will set up his own party because he wants to be boss. Anyway, no other party would want him.

2. The party logo will be in black and gold. The party uniform will be all black. The party members need to have marine style hair cuts. Everything must look professional.

3. Party members need to contribute monthly party funds. The ones who contribute more will be able to contest elections. The normal members will be the party volunteers i.e saikang party. The normal members will help to paint banners, put up flags on lamp posts etc.

4. He will contest Pasir Ris - Punggol because he wants to win big. Pasir Ris - Punggol is one of the biggest GRC. Also, he lives in Pasir Ris so it will be convenient.

5. He will get Oscar Surynn, Joe Chiam, Encik Anuar and Mat Noor to form the team to contest the GRC. Oscar because he is Eurasian and unique. He is also US-educated. Joe Chiam because he needs a Chinese. Encik Anuar because they are best buddies and he can talk a lot also. Mat Noor because the more Malays the merrier.

6. He will get a rover to do the rounds around the neighbourhood. The rover must be well oiled and the tyres kiwied.

7. He will gather all the residents at the hawker centre and give a speech. A motivational speech. Topics will include the terrorism and special forces and the problems of having two wives. The whole team will be there except Oscar. Oscar will be either sleeping or eating siew mais.

8. At the rally, he will talk from 7 to 945 on the same topics he said at the hawker centre. He will leave Encik Anuar to finish the last 15 mins. Joe Chiam will announce the venue for the next rally and ask the people to cooperate with the police. Mat Noor will disappear halfway through the rally. Oscar couldn't be contacted.

9. Oscar will cause a big hoohaa at the elections by oversleeping and missing the appointment to hand in his minority form. Encik will get him to say sorry. Must say that it's your fault, he will say to Oscar. Encik will then defend him against attacks by ministers.

10. The team will then win the GRC. Voters interviewed gave the following reasons.

They were impressed by the show of team integrity

They thought having "The Rock" as a MP was cool

The name Oscar is cool too. And he is US-educated. He must be good.

The speeches impressed them. Especially the one about the Kompassus.

The party promised them everything under the sun.