Today is the first day of 2006. I've decided to resume writing my blog. A new beginning for me. 2006 shld be a good yr for me. It's the yr i ord. I've been waiting for 2006 since i enlisted. People who never go through ns will feel that we are obsessed with ord as we always talk abt when we are going to ord, how we can'twait to ord and so on. It's hard to describe the experience in the army in words. It's something that you have to go thru to understand. Physically, it may be tough but it's not the reason why people hate the army. It's the mental torture that makes you dread being in the army. You feel exploited and helpless sometimes. I just feel being made used of sometimes. The regulars throw you stuff that they dun want to do and then claim credit for themselves. It's sickening how they exploit us. I have lost all respect i have of my superiors. They claim to protect us and treat us like family but the things that they do to us are not ethical at all. Esp mr M. mr M is my csm and my whole platoon hates him. What happened on friday just strengthened my desire to ord. There was an event on friday, a year end party organised by the school. It starts at 12. Supposedly, instructions were passed down to be in camp by 1130. Some of us, including me got mixed messages. I had pple telling me 1130 and some pple telling me 12. So, knowing the way my unit works, I decided to reach there by 12. I didn't expext mr M to be early, which is a surprise cos he is late 99% of the time. He caught more than half of our platoon late. I arrived the latest at 1157 but luckily i managed to avoid him. From my platoon mates, i learnt that he wanted to punish us by making us stay back for as long as he pleases. So after the event which ended at 330, he made us and 10th stay back. He let 9th go back at 345. I dun understand why 9th can be let off early. It's not as if they are not late. as far as i know, every platoon has at least a few latecomers. So why is that 9th can go back early? I just feel that he is biased agst even platoons. Cos even platoons are generally made up of a-level graduates while odd platoons are made up of poly grads. He just got something agst educated people. So no matter what we do, he will juz say that it's no good. It has got to the point where all of us just feel that there's no point working so hard for the company. The unfairness is too apparent. Anyway, he told us to do a standby at 4. He would be coming back at 4 after fetching his wife. then he changed it to 430. Then 5. Finally at 530. Then he wanted to do a standby bed with cupboards open. Delayed it to 6. Standby bed, he went to every bunk and commented on everyone's cupboard. He also made sarcastic remarks on everyone. I especially sympathise with V, my platoon mate whose blog was discovered by him. m made so many sarcastic remarks on him that i think everyone pities him. m is the kind that if u cross him, he will make life hell for u. but if u can get along with him, u will get a lot of benefits. BAck to the standby, he also made comments on my cupboard, says mine is the worse cos i showed my underwears. Ok, i can take that but honestly, i dun think it's a big issue. Overall, my cupboard is quite neat. anyway, he made me in charge of standardising everyone's cupboard. i dunno why i wasn't scared or anything. previously, i would have been nervous abt it. But this time , i didn't feel anything. Since he wants it, i just give it to him lah. maybe because i am numb already after serving for so long. Anyway, the whole standby ended at 8. He then proceeded to talk for around 45 mins about some issues. Talked abt our punctuality. Our hair. All that i heard a lot of times so i didn;t care much. But then he talked abt spec 2. the internals are taking 10th spec 2. and they needed another passive member. M asked the head who he wanted. he arrowed me. Then m said he didn;t want me. Didn't want my standard. He didn't want 10th to turn out as f up specs. He then talked abt how we spec 2 internals for 9th were incompetent. Say we were at fault that so many of them failed. Ok, as though we didn;t give them enough time to study. Whether they used that time to study or not, i cannot control that. How can u force someone to study? Those who failed i can see why they failed. Most of them are not hardworking. Well, he just wants to condemn us. Nobody was spared. Ok, we wnet out of camp at 9 without having our dinner. It's not the first time that this has happened. During our training phase, this happens every wk. I'm used to it but i cannot take the fact that he doesn't care about us, he just wants his revenge. I'm so sick of it that i can't wait to ord. The only good thing about army is the good frens i've made. all the times we had together. But mr M is making me so sick i am counting down the days to ord.